What can you do to help your child through disappointing times? A few suggestions today from a child psychologist.
Throughout life, children will experience disappointment. Not making the team. Not being invited to the party. Failing to get into their college of choice.
Dr. Todd Cartmell, child psychologist and author of 8 Simple Tools for Raising Great Kids, says disappointment can actually lead to positive growth in our kids.
Here are four ways parents can help children cope with disappointment:
- Show them you care. One of the best things you can do when your child is facing disappointment is to let them know you understand. As a family, you will likely have to work through many disappointments together. Demonstrating compassion and empathy can strengthen family relationships, while soothing your child’s sadness.
- Help them view losses as opportunities. Instead of focusing on what is ruined through a disappointment, help your child think about what is made possible. For example, you can say, “You weren’t chosen to be on the baseball team, but now you have more time to spend with friends.” Or, “Instead of being the lead character in the play, you get to gain experience being in the ensemble.”
- Model “the rest of the story.” tell your children about your own disappointments. Telling them about your own unmet expectations allows them to see that it’s OK to let go of some dreams and allow God to replace them with others.
- And Point them to God’s sovereignty. When life doesn’t go as hoped, help your child remember that God has a bigger plan than they can see.