A marriage counselor suggests you start a love contest with your spouse to improve your marriage.
Dr. David Hawkins of the marriage recovery center says the contest isn’t competitive but more of an understanding to enrich the marriage and rescue them from getting stuck in any kind of squabble.
He offers some suggestions if you’d like to start your own.
- First, make a goal of “forgiving first”. Consider sitting down with your mate and agreeing to be intentional about quickly resolving matters and offering forgiveness routinely. Be quick to apologize and admit wrongdoing, focusing on yourself and your part in a matter. Be first to forgive and to reset after a time of tension.
- Second, cultivate a heart of humility. Forgiveness and resetting come from a humble heart. Pride is the destroyer of connection whereas humility brings couples together. Humility allows us to see our weaknesses and to seek help for them. Pride causes us to focus on the wrong of our mate.
- Third, reset to a positive attitude. Resentment grows where we rehearse wrongs done to us. It is easy to slide into a bad attitude where resentment and bitterness take hold. Be quick to forgive and reset to a positive attitude. Guard against anger and narrow-mindedness.
- Fourth, remember the good in your mate. See the best in your mate. Remember and notice what he/she does for you that is good and praiseworthy. Notice how they care about you and what you like about them.
- Finally, dwell on the Word of God. The Word of God has the power to change our lives.