A new study has revealed that students whose parents emphasize kindness over achievement expectations are not only happier, but also get better grades.
Researchers asked 506 sixth-graders to rank what they believed was most valued by their parents. The list included three achievement-oriented goals and three oriented toward pro-social behavior.
They found students whose parents valued grades over kindness to others did not get better grades, but did have elevated stress levels, especially if the parent was critical.
The study also found students whose parents emphasized kindness just as much or even more than academic achievement had lower levels of anxiety and depression, less behavior problems, higher grades and higher self-esteem.
The researchers also suggested that parents should focus on being supportive when a child is struggling academically. Ask their child how they can help, rather than being critical.
In their study the researchers determined that today’s young people face more competition for academic and career achievement than any previous generation. They pointed to declining college acceptance rates as evidence.
Many parents, all too aware of the competition and high stakes associated with college admissions, are thought to contribute to the mounting achievement pressure on children by raising academic expectations and emphasizing excellence
In light of this pressure to achieve, it is not surprising that many youth are reporting major stressors are doing well in school and getting into college.